All these jokes are now illustrated at my new Programming Comic. Check it out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardware problem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”
To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”
The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”
The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millennia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”
The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”
At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary:
Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea. – The Wizardry Compiled by Rick Cook
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One hundred little bugs in the code
One hundred little bugs.
Fix a bug, link the fix in,
One hundred little bugs in the code.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comedy Code is syntactically correct programming code written just for fun. The code doesn’t actually have to do anything if it’s executed, but it should look like regular code.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why computers are like men:
- In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
- They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
- They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
- As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
Why computers are like women:
- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laws of Computer Programming
- Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
- Any given program costs more and takes longer.
- If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
- If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
- Any program will expand to fill available memory.
- The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
- Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it.
- Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug.
- Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
- Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Lubarsky’s Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There’s always one more bug.
- Shaw’s Principle: Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
- Woltman’s Law: Never program and drink beer at the same time.
- Gallois’ Revelation: If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled, and no one dares to criticize it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A programmer finds himself in front of a committee that decides whether he should go to Heaven or Hell. The committee tells the programmer he has a say in the matter and asks him if he wants to see either Heaven or Hell before stating his preference.
“Sure,” the programmer replies. “I have a pretty good idea what Heaven is like, so let’s see Hell.” So an angel takes the programmer to a sunny beach, full of beautiful women in skimpy bikinis playing volleyball, listening to music and having a great time. “Wow!” he exclaims, “Hell looks great! I’ll take Hell!”
Instantly the programmer finds himself in red-hot lava with demons tearing at his flesh. “Where’s the beach? The music? The women?” he screams frantically to the angel.
“That was the demo,” the angel replies as she vanishes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck Computer Terms
LOG ON: Makin’ a woodstove hot.
LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gittin’ the farwood off the truck.
MEGA HERTZ: When you’re not keerfull gittin’ the farwood.
FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much farwood.
RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
HARD DRIVE: Gittin’ home in the winter time.
WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it’s cold outside.
SCREEN: Whut to shut when it’s black fly season.
BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.
MICRO CHIP: Whut’s in the bottom of the munchie bag.
MODEM: Whutcha do to the hay fields.
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix’s wife.
LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.
KEYBOARD: Whar you hang the dang truck keys.
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifes.
MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn.
MOUSE PAD: That’s hippie talk fer the mouse hole.
MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.
PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine.
ENTER: Northerner talk fer, “C’mon in, y’all.”
CLICK: Whut you hear when you cock your gun.
DOUBLE CLICK: When the dang gun don’t far when you pull the trigger.
REBOOT: Whut you have to do at bedtime when you forgot the kitty’s still outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Software Development Cycles
- Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
- Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
- Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.
- Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
- Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
- Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
- Users find 137 new bugs.
- Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
- Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
- Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
- Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
- New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
- Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 10 phrases spoken by a Klingon Programmer
- A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
- By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
- Our competitors are without honor!
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
- Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
- My program has just dumped Stova Core!
- Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can’t find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache. So he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend — sometimes even without a secure socket. His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, “I hate commenting!” Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits. This resulted in a Syntax Error. Now she demanded a massage, but this was rejected as “Feature Creep.” He smacked her back-end and shouted, “Who’s your parent node?!” He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403. While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer. To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, “Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You’re 1337, baby!” This caused his stack to overflow, and he shot his GUI on her interface. (Source)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What’s the difference between drug dealers and computer programmers?
| Drug Dealers | Computer Programmers |
| Refer to their clients as “users”. | Refer to their clients as “users”. |
| “The first one’s free!” | “Download a free trial version…” |
| Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff). | Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code). |
| Strange jargon: “Stick,” “Rock,” “Dime bag,” “E”. | Strange jargon: “SCSI,” “RTFM,” “Java,” “ISDN”. |
| Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. | Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. |
| Job is assisted by the industry’s producing newer, more potent mixes. | Job is assisted by industry’s producing newer, faster machines. |
| Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. | Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists. |
| Their product causes unhealthy addictions. | DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D. ‘Nuff said. |
| Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you. | Damn! Damn! DAMN!!! |
Article published on May 6, 2008
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May 8th, 2008 at 5:26 am
Hilarious, great compilation! 🙂
May 8th, 2008 at 9:16 am
WOWwwwwwww, i read it all and made me laugh a lot, hehehehe
Thanks for great collection
May 8th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
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May 8th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
[…] I just came across the following post on DotNetKicks.com, ‘Best Programming Jokes‘. […]
May 8th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand trinary, those who don’t, and those who mistake it for binary.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
This can be done by a programmer only… how is it possible?? a programmer did it???
May 9th, 2008 at 1:04 am
[…] Go! never in my life Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. […]
May 9th, 2008 at 1:28 am
This is a fact which I think may look like a joke:
– How do you know C programmers?
– They always count items starting from zero.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:17 am
My favorite:
Programmer 1: We have a problem
Programmer 2: Let’s use RegEx!
Programmer 1: Now we have two problems
May 9th, 2008 at 2:37 am
[…] 1 and 2] Turit savo firminių juokelių? […]
May 9th, 2008 at 3:25 am
A SQL query goes to a restaurant, walks up to 2 tables and says “Can I join you”?
May 9th, 2008 at 4:55 am
Awesome post!
Made me laugh very hard…
“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”
😀
May 9th, 2008 at 5:02 am
[…] acceptable and in certain circles even “cool”, however actually laughing out loud at programming jokes gets very close to actually crossing the line. […]
May 9th, 2008 at 5:02 am
[…] acceptable and in certain circles even “cool”, however actually laughing out loud at programming jokes gets very close to actually crossing the line. […]
May 9th, 2008 at 5:13 am
impressive :))
i just can’t stop laughing…
May 9th, 2008 at 5:58 am
[…] שני בייטים נכנסים לפאב, המוזג שואל אותם “מה אפשר להכין לכם” אז הבייטים עונים “תעשה אותנו כפול”. ולמי שלא הבין, שינסה את המקור האנגלי […]
May 9th, 2008 at 6:23 am
[…] Chistes para programadoreswww.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ por derethor hace pocos segundos […]
May 9th, 2008 at 8:26 am
a take on the 10 types of people.
there are 3 types of people in the world;
those that can count,
and those that cannot.
May 9th, 2008 at 8:55 am
[…] Best Programming Jokes (Timm Webb) […]
May 9th, 2008 at 10:46 am
That first joke is just offensive — seriously, programmers are introverts (they don’t even go near members of the opposite sex). A much better punchline would be “because you see them washing their hands.”
HURR
May 9th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Totally hilarious, thanks for this great compilation to jokes mate.
May 9th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
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[…] Original Post: Best Programming Jokes Reference: Speak Forcefully – The Klingon Language Institute […]
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May 11th, 2008 at 11:47 am
[…] Les meilleures blagues en rapport avec la programmation. Si vous ne comprenez pas, ne vous inquiétez pas, vous êtes un être humain sain et normal… […]
May 12th, 2008 at 5:10 am
Awesome buddy………great collection !!!!
May 12th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
[…] Can I has Links? Δημοσιεύθηκε στο News, Web by unseen στο Μάιος 12th, 2008 Σε μια από τις γνωστές πλέον περιηγήσεις μου στο ιντερνέτς βρήκα κάποια ωραία sites. Το πρώτο είναι με “Τα καλύτερα Αστεία Προγραμματιστών ή Προγραμματισμού”. Μπορείτε να τα βρείτε εδώ. […]
May 12th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
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May 12th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
[…] A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike …https://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/Math jokes collection by Andrej and Elena Cherkaev… makes people ill, mathematics make them sad […]
May 13th, 2008 at 8:44 am
An addition to the “CIA” list: I’ve actually gotten people to understand something they didn’t previously by telling them to think of SMTP as an abbreviation for “send mail to people.”
May 13th, 2008 at 10:39 am
[…] DevTopics.com Etiquetas: Geek, Humor Compártelo […]
May 13th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
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May 13th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
[…] chistes de este tipo en la lista de los mejores chistes de programación, en la que no sólo hay chistes de texto, si no también imágenes y chorradas […]
May 14th, 2008 at 9:47 am
[…] […]
May 17th, 2008 at 6:37 am
i found those Computer Industry Acronyms very interesting..
good collection.. cheers
May 21st, 2008 at 8:41 am
Bravo, mnogo qko, mnogo mi haresa 🙂
May 21st, 2008 at 9:45 am
[…] http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ […]
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:50 am
Nice jokes, great collection
May 27th, 2008 at 5:14 am
Great joke…hahaha
May 29th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
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[…] DevTopics has posted a great list of the Best Programming Jokes. […]
June 9th, 2008 at 7:50 am
Thats one great compliation. Fantastic.
June 12th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I like lots of them, except for the very first one. =/
Extremely insulting to people in the IT profession.
June 21st, 2008 at 4:19 am
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July 4th, 2008 at 2:03 am
no bad!
July 4th, 2008 at 2:05 am
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”
and why???
July 9th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Great, made me laugh many times.
July 13th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I laughed hard. Thanks.
September 11th, 2008 at 6:12 am
hey! nice! 😉 U little GEEKS!!!1 hahaah Im a geek too 😛
September 25th, 2008 at 6:35 am
Jesus saves 😀 That was great!!!!!
October 27th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
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November 9th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
The comedy code link doesn’t work. This is very funny, but where can I see the comedy code?
November 10th, 2008 at 10:36 am
>The comedy code link doesn’t work. This is very funny, but where can I see the comedy code?
The site appears to be down now. Hopefully it will come back up soon. But if you ever need to see the prior contents of a site, check out archive.org. Here’s the most recent capture of the comedycode site:
http://web.archive.org/web/20080122003440/http://www.comedycode.com/
November 17th, 2008 at 10:08 am
[…] source […]
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:29 am
superb ! I liked the Laws of .. in particular.
December 3rd, 2008 at 10:35 am
[…] de leer esta increíble página con algunos chistes frikis, me acorde que despues de mucho googlear encontre un mirror del […]
December 7th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
To improve
“Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.””
Change to:
“7F and FF meet. FF asks 7F, “Are you ill?”
7F replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
MUCH better joke and WAY nerdier.
December 14th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
hardare problem?
January 7th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
I loved the comic clip. 😀
January 15th, 2009 at 6:31 am
That comic picture with the C++ code on the blackboard made me laugh. Programmers are so lazy
January 23rd, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Brilliant ! It really helped me get over what I was doing. Cheers ! 🙂
January 25th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
[…] Here: The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can’t find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache. […]
January 29th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Спасибо! Весёлые шутки! Подборка просто THE BEST!!!
Thank you! Сheerful jokes! Selection THE BEST!!!
February 5th, 2009 at 3:51 am
very hilarious jokes , thank you guys for the collection you’ve really made my day.
February 9th, 2009 at 10:15 am
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February 14th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
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March 1st, 2009 at 9:41 pm
It was a pleasure reading this. It made me laugh a lot. Especially the geeky kid and the code on the blackboard.
March 5th, 2009 at 10:08 am
A great mix : “Only Chuck Norris can edit PDF’s”
March 8th, 2009 at 10:47 am
A Windows programmers hobby: bug collector.
March 24th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
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April 30th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
[…] Best Programming Jokes […]
May 14th, 2009 at 6:42 am
Gr8, Gr8…. I got de best programming techniques from above…hahahah lolz
June 12th, 2009 at 4:45 am
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July 3rd, 2009 at 10:32 am
Can’t stop laughing haha, they are awesome. Thanks!
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 am
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October 11th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
[…] following jokes are completely unoriginal, and credit is due to these websites: https://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ http://www.jokes.net/shortprogrammerjokes.htm http://www.heuse.com/cphumor.htm […]
October 15th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
public sub theMovementYouRead(Me)
msgBox “Hello everyone from ” & Me.name
Dim i as Integer
For i=0 to 100 Step 1
debug.print “Kisses”
Next
dim strAnswer as string
strAnswer = InputBox(“Will you be my friend?”)
if strAnswer = “yes” then
msgBox “qayamuddin@ymail.com”
else
msgBox “Have a good day!”
Unload Me
end
End Sub
October 21st, 2009 at 1:15 pm
[…] think these programming jokes are […]
October 28th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
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November 10th, 2009 at 2:55 am
Quite funny 😀 LMAO 🙂
November 10th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
“Damn damn damn!” …. bwhahaaaaaa!!!
December 31st, 2009 at 6:30 am
[…] allgemeine Sammlung zum Thema Programmierer-Humor, die mir recht gut gefallen hat, findet man hier. Mein persönlicher Favorit daraus: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? […]
January 7th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
well I don’t understand the first joke.
January 16th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Once a young software programmer meet Zen master MG in a bar and requested for help,
“My wife run away with my neighbour,” he said with tears in his eyes behind anti glare specs.
“Wow! Chill out, now you are free..hmm!”, MG chuckled and moved a cigarette packet towards him.
“But my memory still hanging around my wife” he said painfully while lighting his cigarette.
“Ok, log in to PhpMyAdmin, access My SQL database and delete the old files,” replyed MG with a misterious look.
“Oh, shit! I’m free!”, exclaimed the the programmer.
“One more fool get enlightened!”, said MG quitely and finished his glass.
January 23rd, 2010 at 12:20 pm
I definitely enjoyed reading your insights and learning from your blogsite. Thank you for sharing such an interesting and informative article. – Tagalog Jokes
January 24th, 2010 at 6:14 pm
[…] https://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ AKPC_IDS += "68,";Популярность: 0 […]
February 14th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
[…] Source: devtopics.com […]
March 8th, 2010 at 11:19 am
[…] (see more programmer jokes) […]
March 11th, 2010 at 9:46 pm
while ($noise == $room)
{
echo “echo”;
}
April 1st, 2010 at 11:49 am
[…] Comic Via […]
April 29th, 2010 at 6:56 am
For Codd’s sake!
May 18th, 2010 at 5:04 am
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.
“I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.”
The man below replies, “You must work in management.”
“I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
June 17th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
i’m appalled that they would include a comic but not include XKCD!
July 6th, 2010 at 1:24 am
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”
damn it made me laught for hours, very nice compilation!
cout << FTW! << endl;
July 10th, 2010 at 9:08 am
[…] Everyone needs a good laugh, even programmers. Heres some jokes that programmers will get (but most people) won’t. Click here […]
July 15th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
Those were hilarious, and inspired me to write a funny poem about a baby trying to choose which programming language to learn.
August 16th, 2010 at 4:23 am
[…] via Best Programming Jokes. […]
September 13th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
A SQL query goes to a restaurant, walks up to 2 tables and says “Can I join you”?
Lol u just made my day
September 14th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Very funny. thanks.
September 24th, 2010 at 6:33 am
nice program & the jokes was very funny :-j
September 27th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
if(int i=1;i<=100000000000….;i++)
cout<<"ha ha ha ha ha ha…."<<"n";
else
cout<<"god damn funny jokes!!!!"
getch();
}
October 22nd, 2010 at 11:20 am
[…] This post was Twitted by __luizfilipe […]
October 24th, 2010 at 2:11 am
[…] This post was Twitted by hannelita […]
November 3rd, 2010 at 9:13 am
[…] from source. […]
November 30th, 2010 at 10:21 am
Java Programmer 1: We have a problem in our website
Java Programmer 2: Let’s use Struts!
Java Programmer 1: Now we have two problems
December 7th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
[…] [via Best Programming Jokes] […]
December 10th, 2010 at 11:39 am
hinga@hinga-laptop:~$baby can i sudo-apt get install you!
Waiting for headers…[0%]
Do you want to continue [Y/n]?Y
Reading packages…Done!
Ass…[100%]
Tits…[100%]
Do you still want to continue[Y/n]?Y
Installing packages…
Done…
December 24th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
[…] More Programming Jokes […]
December 25th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
good jokes
December 28th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
[…] Mejores chistes de programacion […]
January 18th, 2011 at 4:57 am
Nice jokes:)
But being a software engineer is not this much funnier ….!
January 18th, 2011 at 4:58 am
Anyhow IT field gonna rock EVER :):)
January 18th, 2011 at 10:00 am
The third joke it should be 8 bits walk into a bar
March 7th, 2011 at 10:57 am
[…] the website devtopics.com Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. A man […]
March 31st, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Hahahaa, this is awesome. Thanks for the laughs. This made up for my lousy programming week. Okay, not totally, but it helped.
March 31st, 2011 at 11:26 pm
A SQL statement walks into a bar.
It sees two tables and says “Hey, can I join you guys?”
April 7th, 2011 at 1:53 am
First one alone is a thumbs down (rape ain’t funny, folks, come on), and it didn’t get any better from there.
May 18th, 2011 at 2:22 pm
nice collection had a good laugh. here’s entire comic on these kind of jokes
http://www.fullbc.in
May 27th, 2011 at 2:48 pm
@fullbc wecomic,
lolzz man its awesome good work carry on will keep checking FullBC
June 15th, 2011 at 12:57 am
pretty funny, I really enjoyed reading them
June 22nd, 2011 at 10:30 am
[…] Feeling a bit off – Blog with best developer jokes: https://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ […]
July 13th, 2011 at 3:23 pm
[…] "Best Programming Jokes" and tell some of them to your programmer […]
August 13th, 2011 at 10:39 pm
haha, some of those hurt though, damn, damn DAMN, haha
September 21st, 2011 at 2:14 pm
LOL Hillarious!!! Whoever came up with those is a genious!!! My favorites were the genie joke and the “Programming is like sex:” joke LOL too funny!!!
October 8th, 2011 at 3:43 am
Become a software developer. Sofware you make will be:
Criticized by testers
Laughed at by project managers
Hated by end users.
Your feeling of self-worth depends largely on how people treat software you made.
October 16th, 2011 at 11:39 pm
[…] – Biggie (Original Version)Video: Drake & Nicki Minaj Perform “Make Me Proud” on SNLBest Programming Jokes body { background-color: #ffffff; […]
October 18th, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Hey DevTopics: Would you remove the first joke about rape already? I agree with Nicholas Wright and localSEO–the only devs with class apparently. I *was* going to send this list to a coder I like…
February 28th, 2013 at 1:53 pm
hahaha, now that is funny:
http://imgur.com/nOE35z1
April 17th, 2013 at 5:27 am
Hilarious man.. awesome collection.. 😉
April 26th, 2013 at 9:41 am
[…] https://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ […]
May 16th, 2013 at 1:40 pm
[…] Feeling a bit off – Blog with best developer jokes: https://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ […]
August 9th, 2013 at 1:31 am
Haha, these are awesome. I took 2 of these for my own article on the top 10 programming jokes: http://www.tonylea.com/2013/10-awesome-programming-jokes/
Thanks for a few of the good ones.
Much apreesh!
February 17th, 2014 at 10:10 pm
There are plenty of good programmer jokes on this stack overflow topic:
http://stackoverflow.com/q/234075/3284114
Cheers! 😀
March 26th, 2014 at 7:40 pm
A: Do you want to make a fortune?
B: while fortune; do fortune ; done
August 24th, 2014 at 10:29 pm
[…] Of course, what I will learn and do will be much more complex than this […]
January 15th, 2015 at 3:24 pm
[…] Programmer and a genie […]
January 29th, 2015 at 5:13 pm
Hahah funny list. I made a list of programming jokes myself: http://xojoc.pw/programming-jokes.html. Check it out!
June 4th, 2015 at 7:52 am
http://devjoke.com developer jokes in one place. Have fun guys!
September 4th, 2015 at 11:08 am
[…] or from https://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ […]
November 14th, 2015 at 12:33 am
[…] https://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ […]
January 18th, 2016 at 8:33 am
Also check out my new webcomic about web developers, programmers and browsers! https://lol.browserling.com. New cartoons every week!
June 29th, 2016 at 6:49 am
A programmer had a problem once. He decided to use Java. Now he has a Problem Factory
October 2nd, 2016 at 1:31 am
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks.
This looks suspiciously recursive to me…
October 17th, 2016 at 5:52 pm
Awesome collection of jokes, going to save this post now.
Thanks
December 6th, 2016 at 10:33 am
I wrote two programmer’s jokes, both dealing with binary numbers.
“Do you know what binary numbers are?”
“Well, yes and no.”
“What binary are numbers?”
“Is this a true/false question?”
March 1st, 2017 at 11:02 pm
Who said programming is boring? –Those who can’t understand programming jokes. LOL
Just wanna share this vid… awesome animation and a lot of good jokes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aCMpJMzGgE&t=1s
March 15th, 2017 at 11:04 pm
Just a quick update – I’ve moved my developer comic to a new address –
https://comic.browserling.com.